There are a lot of stresses over the holidays. There are many things that make this time of year more difficult to different people in different ways, and while we all have the right to be upset or disturbed or sad or angry… it’s time to own that and move on whenever we can. Own the fact that you have the right to feel however you feel – that is 100% healthy. Someone cuts us off, the mail/packages don’t arrive in time, someone says something hurtful. What if instead of complaining we stopped and looked at the situation and made a conscious decision to THINK before we complain.
1. Will complaining change the situation?
2. Will complaining make me feel better about the situation?
3. Have I really considered others involved and maybe given the benefit of the doubt that some things may be out of anyone’s control?
4. Was whatever that happened that upset you or the circumstances something that was purposefully malicious?
In most situations, complaining does nothing but amplify your negative feelings and complaining to others may make you feel for a brief moment like others agree with you and that empowers you… but it is really a very momentary thing, and has fixed nothing about the situation. It may have even amplified it so much bigger than it actually is in reality.
When you are angry maybe ask yourself the questions above. Will complaining change the situation? Is there a way you can confront a situation with honesty so that you feel better about a little release of whatever is bothering you? Will venting and complaining about a situation get other people upset that are really not involved?
Or if you are really ready to turn it around. Turn it around and maybe give a little love or extra help to that someone, or to someone totally not part of the equation to make you feel better and put you in a better mood.
It’s human nature to want support, but know the difference between telling people something because you’re trying to help them or make sure other’s don’t encounter the same situation – and the later… complaining to get support for your own instant empowerment.
Lastly… know that we all have bad days… we all have days where we complain – and that’s ok to… and if you are on the listening end… do just that, listen instead of elevating whenever you can.